Hey, I’m back. It’s been a good long while since I’ve written anything here, and a good long list of stuff has happened. I’m making it okay that I left, and that I’m back. It’s all okay and in spite of the voice that says it isn’t, it is. It always is.
It’s also really easy to forget that, isn’t it? We forget that everything’s okay. We forget that who we are and where we are is exactly right and perfectly fine. We forget that we know what we need. We forget that we really do know what to do next.
So much of life is about forgetting. I forget how to be vulnerable. I forget how to show up without putting walls up, and I hurt people. I forget who I am and show up as who I’m not, or who I think I am. I forget that I actually do know how to be brave and kind and loving. I forget that I don’t need to be afraid.
If forgetting is what we do, then remembering is where we need to be. I sat for awhile in the sun this morning with my journal and I did my best to remember. I wrote notes to myself, like “I’m a writer. I know how to write words that mean something.” And, “It’s okay to be alone and not want to talk right now. I’m loving myself deep inside, where the love needs to reach.”
Remembering who we really are is so important. It’s our job. We forget how to love ourselves. We learn to be afraid. And we start living like that’s who we are. But it’s not. So, remembering is kind of our job in life. Taking ourselves by the hand and walking back to the beginning, where we remember who we are. The beginning is the truth. The beginning of our lives on this planet, when we weren’t afraid, and we just showed up and said what we wanted and we didn’t care what anyone thought.
I’m remembering today, and it’s like hearing an echo in the wind. I have to listen really hard, but it’s there if I get quiet.